One of the few questions I usually get is about the dress code. The concern with couples is always about wanting to impose a dress code without wanting to look ‘imposing’, while at the same time, afraid that most guests won’t want to dress up according to a specific theme given. On the other hand, more often than not, we get confused guests who call us up just to double check on the dress code so that they won’t end up sticking out like a sore thumb.

It seems like everyone could use a little guidance on what to wear when attending a wedding, so I’ve gathered here some popular dress codes and the basic rule of thumb.

• Smart Casual

Smart Casual is NOT casual. It is afterall, a wedding. Smart Casual calls for a dressed up version of casual attires, that means no jeans, baby tees or collared t-shirts.

• Black Tie

That means tuxedo for  men and elegant evening gowns for the ladies. For couples who want to host a black tie affair, bear in mind though that unless your guests are high society crowd, generally Malaysian men do not own a tux, and they won’t go out of their way to rent one just to attend your wedding. Hosting a Black Tie wedding often ends up as Black Tie Optional because you will end up getting calls from your guests asking if it’s ok to just wear a suit and tie, while the older folks (e.g.grandfather, uncles, relatives) would most likely come in batik shirts.

• White Tie

White Tie is the ultimate of formal attire. It calls for tailcoat, vest, stiffed fronted white shirt with detachable wing collar, white bow tie  for men. Ladies in ball gowns and elbow-length gloves. The shorter your sleeves are, the longer your gloves should be. For complete details, click here.

• Cocktail Attire

Cocktail attire is perfectly suitable for cocktail receptions or garden receptions. Cocktail  attire means short dresses for the ladies and formal wear for the men. For the ladies, how sexy is too sexy or how short is short? Well, if you have to ask whether the dress you intend to wear is appropriate for a wedding, then most probably it isn’t. It’s also a rather flexible dress code. The ladies could always pair  up a lovely top with skirts or trousers and the men could come in Tunic tops.

• Colour-themed Attire (e.g. Dress Code: Shades of Pink or White)

That means anything goes as long as it’s within the colour theme. The wedding venue is a good indication on your attire style. Some cards would also state the wedding theme, with a colour-themed dress code so you get a good idea of what to expect at the wedding.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

1) The invitation did not mention any dress code. What to wear?

Use your judgement depending on where the wedding would be held. If it’s during the day at a church,pastel-coloured attires would be appropriate without showing too much skin. If it’s a dinner reception at a swanky hotel, semi formal attires are always best. If it’s a garden wedding, you’d want to appear chic while taking into consideration the humid weather, so a chic cocktail dress for ladies and light-coloured shirt with tie for men. The style of the wedding card you’ve received is always a good indication of colour themes if you are still not sure.

2) Do we (the men) need to wear a tie to the wedding?

Yes, it just shows that you are being respectful. Unless there is a specific theme for the dress code (e.g. beach wear) then it’s best to wear a tie. You can always take them off if you notice that majority of the crowd aren’t wearing.

3) Is it ok to ask my mother-in-law to dress up to my wedding colour theme or style?

Yes, it is ok. As long as your request is polite and respectful, your mother-in-law would be more than happy to comply to the colour theme and style that you’d like her to wear.  The most important thing is to ensure that she’s comfortable in the attire and it does not go against her culture or beliefs (e.g.: a conservative Chinese mother-in-law may not be comfortable wearing black evening gown or an Indian mother-in-law may insist in wearing a sari).

4) Is it ok to wear a white dress to a wedding?

No, only the bride should be wearing white unless otherwise stated in the invitation card that the colour theme for the dress code is white. This should apply to all weddings regardless of race or religion.

5) Is it ok to wear black outfit to a wedding?

It’s best not to wear black to a day time event especially church or temple ceremony. Black is acceptable for semi formal to formal wedding receptions, although much precaution must be taken for Chinese weddings. In general, the older folks are more sensitive to colours, and it’s easy to identity the traditionalist to modernist from the colours of their wedding invitation cards. In my line of work, I can probably say that 100% of traditional Chinese families always insist on non-white wedding cards and envelopes, and cards must contain hues of red, pink or orange.