I was browsing through DVDs just now when all of a sudden, the staff walked up to me and whispered “Teng Yat Choi Fan Lei Tak Mou?” (Can you come back tomorrow?). Every Malaysian would know that when a DVD shop that opens till 2am wants you to leave, it’s an indication that a raid is about to happen.

So naturally, I said OK and started to walk out of the shop when two plainclothes officers teased “Ah Mooiiiii…..datang balik esokkkk. Pakai lawa-lawa tau..”

This is a perfect display of corruption in the most obvious splendour. Can I also call this sexual harassment?

Shut down the non-licensed operators? Who are we trying to kid! If anyone says that they only buy original DVDs, their statement would probably be met with a stunned expression of “You must be really stupid to be buying original.” 

So, it’s a despicable act. “You Asians…” do I hear gasps of disgust from the westerners… Oh well, it’s probably the same bunch of foreigners who buy stacks of these pirated DVDs when they visit Batu Ferringhi.  

It’s unfortunate that Tourism Malaysia can’t promote it under their Visit Malaysia project. The DVD culture is by far one of the most original product of Malaysia. It probably contributes millions of Ringgit into our economy, taxation and duit kopi.

*shit, is this a seditious remark? Everything we say these days can be arguably seditious. So really, we have to be careful in what we say because even if we’re reporting the truth, you can still be caught while the actual criminal roams free.

While all of us know that it is wrong, the DVD culture has been engraved so deep in our culture that it has become a way of life. Yeah..*snort* like you can’t tell the grades from the price of DVDs?

“Hah, RM10?! So expensive one. Original or cinema copy?” 

“What? Season 1-6 for only RM30? It’s China version issit?”

I won’t speak for the general but let me list out why I buy ‘p’ DVDs from ’x’ shop although I only buy original music CDs.

Reason 1: They have great service. If you are a frequent customer, they remember your face and your previous purchases. Can I get that from Tower Records or Rock Corners?  

Reason 2: They offer personalised service. They are good observers, they observe what you pick up and then from there, suggest other movies that might be of interest to you.

Reason 3: They leave you at your own will. They don’t follow you around as if you are gonna steal the empty covers from their display trays.

Reason 4: They may look like gangsters, talk like gangsters, are actually gangsters, but when you make friends, they are actually really nice people who allow 100% return policy if there is a problem with the disc/movie quality even after 1 month you’ve purchased the DVDs. Hassle free, no need to keep receipt as proof of purchase or explain in lengthy details. 

Reason 5: They are honest. Funny, it’s a contradiction to their nature of business, but it’s also for this fact that people come back over and over again. “This one not very clear yet. Wait for the next batch.”

If a movie sucks, they will tell you bluntly … “very slow..very boring. Too much of talking.” Really, we don’t need intellectual critics, just a summarised opinion because we can decide for ourselves and give our ‘two thumbs up’ reviews after we’ve watched it.

Reason 6: You can save with bundle purchase. Buy 5 FREE 1. Buy 4 FREE 1. Buy 10 FREE 3. You get the idea.

Reason 7: You can take affordable package and don’t have to choose all your movies at once. They will give you a card, and everytime you come back, they will just deduct from your package. It’s like your facial package except that this will only cost you RM50.

 Reason 8: Some offer loyalty card. After your 10th purchase, you get free DVD. yahoooo…

Reason 9: Did I say they are un-licensed operators? My bad. They are licensed operators. Read that…LICENSED OPERATORS. “We have 20 branches in Klang Valley” That’s like Maybank isn’t it?

Reason 10: You can pay by credit card. If they are not licensed operators, how come they can offer credit card facilities? You’ll need to provide genuine documents before the bank will extend the facility to a business. So when you joke around with the staff that you don’t have enough money (hoping they will give some discount), they will say “No problem, can swipe card!” So no excuses not to buy more. 

Reason 11: You can make advance booking for new movies.

Reason 12: If you want a certain movie and they don’t have it in their shop, they will check from their other outlets. 

It’s common coffee talk knowledge that most of the time, officers are bribed, or else how can the shops be operating in broad daylight anyway.  

In some cases, you see a lorry that comes and sweeps up all these DVDs, then the next day, the same operators are back again as if nothing happened. That’s what we call “putting up a show for us” to show that they are doing their job in catching these illegal operators.

Usually, an informer somewhere would call or walkie talkie to his fellow team mates that officers are on their way (It’s like in high school, where the head prefect will warn his fellow classmates before the disciplinary master makes his round of spot check). They will then close up the shop and store away their ’products’, not because they don’t want to be caught, but simply to cut losses. While their big bosses are already ‘paying’ the hefty price ‘up there’, the runners (operators) also have to please the lower-ranked minions.

Crack down on operators? Like I said, who are we trying to kid! Do you know how many people would be jobless – from production to sales, the factories to the distributors. You’d get a real culture shock to find that their factory is not your shabby little warehouse. They have the most high-tech equipment, quality control (QC) dept, graphics/animation dept, accounts dept, distribution, off-site storage warehouse, international links, etc etc etc……. To shut them down would only result in the increase of other more harmful criminal activities once thousands are out of job.

There was this cute guy who used to work at this shop. He was really good at his job. While some staff don’t usually know the details of every movie, this guy could explain any movie you ask him in perfect English. But these days, I no longer see him around, not because he got caught and put into lock-up, but because he has been promoted to management level. I kid you not! They actually have a career progression! Among other benefits is RM2,000 in petrol allowance but I think he might have been joking when he said that.

I admit that this is daylight robbery of copyrighted materials. I’d be mad too if others steal my content or ideas. But similar to the many millions of Malaysians out there, it has become a part of our culture.